The Spin: Jadakiss – The Last Kiss
Released April 7, 2009
The Island Def Jam Music Group 2009
[rate 4]

If you’ve followed Jadakiss’ career at all, it’s easy to see that he’s consistently put out some of the most solid work in the genre since as far back as The Lox. Although every album has its fair share of what would be deemed commercial songs (and they’re just as good as anything else you would hear on the radio), he hasn’t managed to reach the type of mega-stardom as Lil Wayne or 50 Cent or even gained the type of mainstream notariety as someone like Mims or Chingy. I think plenty would argue that Jadakiss’ lyricism would have him fare well in a battle with any of these guys and the beats that pervade his albums are definitely good, if not equal to his rapping.

“The Last Kiss” finds itself again without a huge hit, but has managed to garner plenty of praise and respectable sales. But also like most of his albums, it’s sort of a mixed bag and lacks continuity. There are a couple of Neptunes beats that stick out, there are beats that sound just five minutes too dated, and then there are southern-style club bangers in the middle of it. Content-wise, Kiss is equally sporadic.

In “Who’s Real,” we hear Swizz Beats’ familiar voice and horn arrangements. For whatever reason, Swizz Beats has certainly mastered his particular brand of simple drum patterns and synth arrangements (which he’s claimed to accomplish in fifteen minutes or less), although he does add in samples, from time to time. His lyrics definitely have not received the same amount of attention for good reason. However, Swizz Beats, in collaboration with other artists, provides a recipe for very effective rap tunes. Thankfully, Jadakiss does a good job of complimenting the track. OJ Da Juiceman provides fairly weak guest lyrics.

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Anyone who’s heard a Jadakiss album knows that he’s fairly obsessed with guns. “Smoking Gun” serves as a manifestation of that, but with a sort of twist. This song is a sort of Bonnie & Clyde tale, but more socially conscious and more vengeful. Yeah, actually, it’s more like one of those highly entertaining albeit cheesy revenge flicks from the seventies. At any rate, the content of the song is really interesting and the beat’s pretty nice. I don’t want to give away more than that because it’s such a cool song. Instead, I’d encourage anyone to check it out.

“Respect My Conglomerate” is a Busta Rhymes song that is included on the Itunes version of Kiss’ album. The female vocals sound like they’re sampled, but they’re not. The hook is really cool. The beat’s fairly poppy and simplistic, but effective. Busta Rhymes delivers as always and Jada doesn’t disappoint, either. “Grind Hard” and “Something Else” serve as Jadakiss’ attempt to get in good with the south, even including a verse from Young Jeezy on the latter. “Grind Hard” features a hook by Mary J. Blige and is appropriately catchy.

If I had to describe Jadakiss’ career to someone, I’d say something like, “Jadakiss is a five-star lyricist who consistently makes four-star albums.” It’s hard to not feel like if he just had an album with two or three really big hits that he could be on the same eschelon as someone like Jay-z or Nas.
I think it’s unfortunate that this isn’t the case, but I certainly keep hoping for it, and considering that he’s one of the only good hip-hop artists still doing big things in New York, his time may be yet to come. Predictably, I give this album four out of five stars.

The Spin: Donny Goines – The Breakfast Club
Released May 19, 2009
2009
[rate 4]

Donny Goines is back again and this time with a fresh spin on hip-hop that does justice to the title of his latest hit album, “The Breakfast Club.” Everything from a screaming electric guitar loop in “Oh No (Ft. Patent Pending)” to sizzling horns over a chunky funk kit on “Whatever It Is (Ft. Mela Machinko),” Donny Goines brings the eclectic sounds of a lifetime of media influence that brings back memories from my 80′s childhood.

Check out Donny on myspace to find out more details on how to get your hands on The Breakfast Club.

Keeping the prosumer audiophile in mind, the download is thoughtfully bounced to 320 kbps (higher quality means happier ears).

Image courtesy of www.dramaticannie.com

From the moment you step on Indio field you wonder how the organizers of this year’s Coachella kept everything so, well, organized. Every minute detail down to the art exhibits, the “green” aspect of the concert (recycling everything down to the cups the frozen lemonade came in) to keeping the peace. Of course, the band choices were excellent and with two outdoor stages and three tents there was plenty to see.

All in all, I hit up 11 out of the 43 acts there on Friday, April 17th which doesn’t seem like a lot but it was 11 hours of constant music. From The Airborne Toxic Event with their full string quartet, to Steve Aoki’s crowd surfing on an inflatable raft in the Sahara tent, to Beirut’s unexpected huge crowd that knew all the words, to Paul McCartney’s two and a half hour set complete with fireworks during “Live and Let Die,” this concert can only be described in one word: Epic.

Image courtesy of www.dramaticannie.com

I’ve been to other Coachellas over the years but for some reason the buzz was huge this year, partly because of Sir Paul’s highly anticipated set. Walking with the crowd to the final act of the night, through the lit up art exhibits, including a circle of lit torches and a myriad of tents with red tented lights signaling the middle of the field, I was surprised as to how many families had come to see the show. From little kids to grandparents, everyone was there to witness a little magic from a man who changed music forever with “a little help from [his] friends.” Let’s just say the man delivered. But it wasn’t just that.

Image courtesy of www.dramaticannie.com

Each band that came on all of the stages was so grateful to be at Coachella and made sure the crowd knew that. Silversun Pickups’ lead singer Brian Aubert told the crowd that, although they had played at Coachella two years ago and had seen the world since then due to their excellent 2006 release “Carnavas,” they were extremely humbled to be invited to play at Indio Field again. It’s just one of those concert experiences that you will never forget and the fact that it’s a visual spectacle as well as an attack of the eardrums makes it one of the must-see festivals of the year. However don’t take my word for it. You can see all of the videos here:

Do me a favor. Go next year. You won’t regret it.

The Spin: Javs – Passports
Released n/a
2009 n/a
[rate 4.5]

Javs is a little-known up-and-coming producer/rapper based out of Southern California and Australia. It’s like he can’t make up his mind about anything. But we thank him for that, as, for some reason or another, it all results in rather dope musical recordings. In a time that sees hip-hop transitioning seemingly toward more electro sounds and party lyrics, Javs provides well-arranged soul samples and lethal drum patterns as his backdrop for socially conscious content.

The album begins with an intro laced with sped-up vocal samples, a more prominent production style on the east coast, but effective here, nonetheless. His vocals chime in, as he tells us of the struggles it took to get him to where he’s at now.

Javs’ voice cuts through the track on “Storm Riders,” thanks to the caliber of delivery that one expects to find when listening to classic hip-hop artists. Routinely on this record, he manages to captivate so much more than the guest artists here. Risky as taking such a classic sample as “Riders on the Storm,” Javs manages more than just doing the sample justice.

“Break It Loose” ticks up the tempo and the energy. While it’s nothing like the hyphy music going on north of Javs’ territory, there’s certainly something here for everyone. Javs shows off some pan-Pacific swag, like, “Doubters just became believers/ Forgive me if these tracks cause fatal seizures/ I’m on the ball, yall watch from the bleachers.”

Javs brings out his inner Blueprint-Kanye for “The World,” while providing his own sensibility. While the beat will certainly leave other producers with 808′s and heartbreak, Kanye’s lyrics pale in comparison. Javs’ ability to change up his flow throughout every verse is impressive, and it’s exemplified here.

Overall, the album has its moments where the lack of professional mastering is noticeable, but the same is true of a great segment of the mixtapes put out by major artists, so considering that this album was done almost entirely by Javs, it’s extremely impressive. It hardly even seems necessary to point out that this album is quite a lot better than many a mixtape, some of which I’ve reviewed right here. I give the album four and a quarter stars out of five.

The Spin: The West Indies – Scratch the Surface
Released February 29, 2009
2009 Western Independent
[rate 4]

My best guess is that this resembles the future of hip-hop. At least, this is what it’ll be like for those that are still interested in hearing hip-hop that adheres to some semblance of the formula requiring some “digging in the crates.” There’s a movement of sorts from the underground of hip-hop. Let’s correct that, I see hip-hop going in three directions right now. The hip-hop on the radio combines a lot of digital drums, mostly resembling 808′s, synths normally to this point associated with electronic instrumental music, and Southern rappers with a fairly simple delivery and mostly pretty simple lyrics. There’s the hipster movement, which seems to be generally combining electro sounds at a faster tempo than conventional hip-hop with party lyrics and throwback lyrics. Then, there’s this. Sa-Ra Creative Partners, J Dilla, Black Milk, Platinum Pied Pipers, and to some degree, The West Indies, among other others, seem to be etching out a formula of combining soulful sounds and mostly electronic synths, with more sophisticated lyricism to achieve this new sound. While the former two formulas appeal to a broader, perhaps less hip-hop savvy and less sophisticated audience, the latter appeals to the hip-hop head that does still enjoy his or her soulful cuts coupled with lyrics that are, on some level or another, more challenging, while keeping it interesting and fresh.

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“Advice for Men” and “Advice for Women” are fun, interesting tracks that show off ADAMNT’s scratches, and the group’s sense of humor and interesting musical tastes. They almost seem a little reminiscent of something Prince Paul would get involved in. How’s that for a positive comparison? ;D

A couple of my friends did this on Facebook, so I’m gonna put a twist and explain why they changed my life, and put them in chronologically, in terms of when they changed my life. Of course, I’m not claiming that these are my favorite albums, only that because of where I was in my life when I discovered (or re-discovered, in one case) them, they each had a profound effect on me.

1. Bad by Michael Jackson 1987 Michael Jackson was my first hero, and this was the first album that came out where I was old enough to be aware of its impact, and know all the lyrics (and dance moves).

2. The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill by Lauryn Hill 1998 This album was one of the earliest albums that I bought, mostly because I never had money before this time, and my parents wouldn’t let me get the music I wanted to get. This album was, and still is, in my opinion, genius. Lyrically and vocally, Lauryn Hill’s absence from anything more than intermittent recording still leaves a hole, such that at every rumor of her reemergence, I get excitedly hopeful.

3. Music of My Mind by Stevie Wonder 1976 Stevie Wonder broke the ice for so much great R&B music in the 1970′s. So much of his work sounds as fresh today as it did back then, and he continues to be a great influence in music. When I was in college, after hearing some of my parents’ old Stevie Wonder tracks, I became interested in hearing more of his stuff. This was the first album of his that I bought, and the beginning of his classic period.

4. Black on Both Sides by Mos Def 1999 This album was the first album that made me interested in hip-hop lyrics. If you’ve not heard it, Mos’ blend of witty lyricism, confident but extremely humanistic delivery, and populist message over diverse musical textures is an instant classic.

5. Electric Circus by Common 2002 I bought this album as soon as it came out, off the strength of Like Water For Chocolate and the recommendation of a good friend. While I liked the album back then, I didn’t appreciate all the musical genius that the album is until several years later. The album is chock full of amazingly creative musical styling from all the various Soulquarians that made neo-soul so great in its short popularity. Where Black on Both Sides may be my favorite album, lyrically, this album inspires me, musically. Note: This is possibly Common’s least-popular album of all time, but I think it’s really, really, really musically genius.

Anyone else wanna play? What were the five albums that changed your life and why?

The Spin: Cappadonna – Slang Prostitution
Released September 30, 2008.
2009 Chambermusik Records
[rate 2.5]

When you think about Cappadonna’s lyrics and put them in context, you’re tempted to sympathize with him, to excuse the fact that he’s never carved his way into the mainstream, despite obvious indications that it’s what he’d prefer. There’s a sense of the underdog and, at the same time, the diamond in the rough in Cappadonna’s witty lyricism and tough Yankee swagger (I’m getting tired of that word. I’m soon going to think of a more pleasing alternative to it). But when you listen to him deliver those lines that expose all his vulnerability, every ounce of his soul tells you not to feel anything for him, but to be captivated by his lyrics and moved by the music. He’s not pulling any punches and he doesn’t expect you to be there if he slips up. So when he titles his album, “Slang Prostitution,” make no mistake, his words may be for sale, but his pride and integrity aren’t going anywhere.

Historically, Cappadonna’s been in and out of The Wu-Tang Clan, and in and out of the New York hip-hop consciousness. He even took a few months on hiatus as a cabdriver before re-finding Jesus, as it were, and getting back into the scene. As an emcee that’s always commanded utmost respect from hip-hop heads within and outside of Gotham, he’s had a painstakingly difficult time trying to get beats that his constituency can move to, despite such a close relationship with one of the all-time great and most-respected beat makers. The trend isn’t over, unfortunately.

Image courtesy of http://www.rollingstone.com

The lyrics throughout the album give you this pervasive sense that no matter what his circumstances, he always has a puncher’s chance. He comes with all the confidence in his delivery of a rapper that’s holding Billboard’s ownership at bay. The album starts with him declaring, “You can’t keep a good man down/I been through it all/ Slept on the ground/ Even my best friend turned they back/ And my label made brothers wasn’t cuttin’ me no slack.”

In “Walk With Me,” Cappadonna breaks his tough guy persona to reach out to a special female human person being. While there’s enough re-tread corniness here to make you yawn at the lyrics, the beat stands out on the track and overall, it’s the kind of catchy track that generally eludes Cap.

“Stories” is the type of minimalistic grimy track that sees Cappadonna at his most comfortable and the outcome is an authentic street jam that’s infectious. It seems that his lyricism does in fact infect, as JoJo Pellegrino’s and 3rd Diglah’s vocals here are superior to those of most of the features on the album. “What’s Really Up?” is a track with a similar feel and similar excellence, as Cappadonna recalls the type of adversity he’s faced in his New York Experience over an old soulful loop and heavy drums.

Staying with the dark, grimy mood that mostly pervades this album, “Somebody’s Gotta Go” addresses some of the more brutal realities of gangsterism. Again, Cappadonna’s lyrics deliver with cogency,poignancy, and wit, with Lounge Lo contributing solid vocals, as well.

There’s a soulfulness to many of the beats on this album, epitomized by “Fire.” Where Cappadonna, with the assistance of Masta Killa, describes what he brings to the table.

Image courtesy of http://www.rollingstone.com

Overall, this album manages to excel and fail equally, to mass frustration. No one doubts Cappadonna’s deft lyricism, but musically, this album, like his albums of the past, is hit and miss, only that he’s gotten stuck in a style that feels fairly archaic, this side of The Big Apple. Anyone who’s followed Cappadonna or Wu-Tang at all, realizes that Cappadonna has excellent albums in him just waiting to be brought to light. Unfortunately, until someone else starts picking out beats for him or he has a revelation, we’re left to listen to excellent rhyming over beats that never did much for us, but do even little now. The album, sadly, gets two and a half stars.

As I rewind to the evening that was the 51st Grammy Awards, I must immediately fast forward  to the most memorable moments that will leave us talking. Was it the worst dressed nominee Estelle picked straight from the later to be released 2009 film Star Trek or M.I.A showing plenty of swagger on the day of her expected delivery? Maybe it was the emotional speech of Jennifer Hudson or the hi-five number of Grammys awarded to Robert Plant & Alison Krauss, who even I agree that their bluegrass and acoustic sound greatly demonstrates the art within music that is often forgotten as music becomes more commercialized.

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Coldplay with ‘Viva La Vida’ conjures up images of triump and overcoming adversity. In first being introduced to them live last fall at the American Airlines Center I am counting down until their ticket release for their 2009 performance this summer at the Superpages.com Center.

Attention must be given to the trend that has come to be known as the, ‘Power Blondes.’ Begun by the one and only material girl Madonna, that trend has continued through the likes of Brittney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Jessica Simpson, and for no reason will I forget another women’s last name after seeing the performance of this year’s ‘Power Blonde,’ Carrie Underwood. She appeared to be more of a Greek goddess who bestowed upon us the fortunate opportunity to see her transition into a sexier, more confident artist.

Photo courtesy of Getty Images

My lasting memories of this years performances and interviews will be Ken Baker of E! Entertainment and his reference to Heidi Klume as the 2009 “Super Milf,” Kid Rock’s performance of ‘Amen,’ which left many with a feeling of much needed soul searching. The dual sets of Justin Timberlake and Al Green, Jay-Z and Coldplay, and Radiohead backed by the USC marching band, which for a moment made me think maybe being in a band isn’t such a bad thing. Sheryl Crow’s endorsement of P90X regenerated my need to stick to my New Year’s resolution while the biggest story became Chris Brown and Rihanna’s absence.

I’ll leave you with this as 2009 turns the first corner on its musical track. Rock it hard and dance like nobody is around.

Looking down upon Main Street, goodnight!

The Spin: Platinum Pied Pipers – Abundance
Released January 20, 2009
2009 Ubiquity Records
[rate 4]

Platinum Pied Pipers‘ mixtape followup, called Abundance, to the critically-acclaimed Triple P is a collection mostly of remixes of earlier work, many coming from that same Triple P album. PPP incorporate guest appearances from an array of mostly underground hip-hop and R&B/Soul artists for the majority of their work. Considering earlier work, this album represents a fairly healthy departure.

Image courtesy of www.myspace.com/platinumpiedpipers

As hip-hop has gradually made a move back toward electro, PPP have managed to segue with relative ease, a true testament to their versatility and musical abilities. In an era of hip-hop that sees the mainstream managing to dumb down even farther, both lyrically and musically, Waajeed and Saadiq manage to make sophisticated hip-hop that’s very danceable and accessible.

The album starts with an interesting instrumental intro that prepares us well for the type of electric sounds we might not be expecting after hearing the vintage Detroit soulful hip-hop sounds The Pipers’ followers may have become accustomed to. The album’s third track, “Shotgun” features none other than J Dilla, whose notariety as a vocalist was attained through Slum Village, the very same group that Waajeed produced for after Dilla’s departure from the group. The composition of the track creates such a synnergystic relationship to Deezy’s vocals that it’s easy to become submersed into the music to the point of outright forgiveness for somewhat lackluster lyrics. It’s interesting to note the unorthodox drum patterning here as a clap comes on the downbeats, accented by offbeat kicks.

Image courtesy of www.myspace.com/platinumpiedpipers

The Sa-Ra Creative Partners are the sort of wildly ambitious and truly left field creative force that producers and only the most devout followers love to follow. It doesn’t take two guesses to take a stab (forgive the play on words) at the content of “Deep Inside.” Sa-Ra’s vocals are accompanied by the lovely voice of Irisna Gayle. The lyrics are the type of suggestive lyrics that are adult enough to be captivating without being so over-the-top that they lack sophistication and maturity. In true midwestern style, and following the pervasive trend of today’s hip-hop, the track features a House drum arrangement, only to be accompanied by vintage soul chords to keep it more authentic Great Lakes’ State fare.

I have two major criticisms of the album would in an at-times grating tendency toward half-bar drum loops and the puzzling fact that after track seven, the “Long Red” by Mountain break seems to appear in almost every track. That same seventh track manages to overcome both these obstacles, mostly thanks to excellent vocals and a super-catchy melody, incorporated by Zeno. I can’t honestly say whether Waajeed or Saadiq are assisting in the writing of melodies, but for whatever reason (Perhaps the beats are that inspiring?), so many of these tracks seem so hyper-catchy despite lacking lyrical integrity that after a few listens, you’ll find yourself stuck with several songs stuck in your head, seemingly at once.

“Stand For Something” follows suit. Coultrain and Jamila Raegan give impressive vocal performance, and the subtly synocpated keyboard combine incredibly well with the bass, drums, and string pad for a very interesting and infectious track. Paul Simon’s “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover,” one of the more-sampled songs in hip-hop, gets re-made here with a Brazilian twist. The outcome is really interesting, especially considering that one of the great attractions to the original is the march-style snare part, which some might recognize from Tupac’s and Eminem’s respective hits that borrowed from it.

Image courtesy of www.myspace.com/platinumpiedpipers

Overall, this album’s very good. While there’s certainly the potential for a more fulfilling album, in terms of concept and cohesion, it’s hard to argue the musical result these two have accomplished. Also, in the future, if Waajeed could stay away from using the same break over and over and incorporating half-bar drumloops, that’d probably be appreciated as well. Still, the innovation in the drums, keys and otherwise is commendable.

While Chicago’s Barack Obama may bring hope in a more practical sense for every regular and not so regular American out there, it may behoove hip-hop’s followers to look next door to Detroit for change in the hip-hop game, and Platinum Pied Pipers appear poised to bring it in abundance. I give the mixtape four stars out of five.

The Spin: Syleena Johnson – Labor Pains
Released December 23, 2008
2008 Anylees Entertainment / Federal Distribution
[rate 1]

note: I want to foreword this article by apologizing. I’m a fairly straightforward guy. It gets me into trouble. In this case, I don’t want to pander or patronize. There isn’t a lot of good music that’s accessible to a broad audience. However, over the last few weeks, there has been a drought of album releases, for whatever reason (blame it on the holidays, I guess). The majority of responses I’ve gotten to my articles have been in defense of the musicians’ works that I’ve panned. I’m not a mean guy, but I have no problem being honest about distant artists on huge record labels that make music to suck every dollar out of people of the most average intelligences. I find this act offensive, and when I see well-spoken artists simplifying their music and pretending, just to sell albums, it frustrates me that they’re not living up to their potential and that they’re not trying to challenge their audience to understand something more sophisticated. The vocabulary of the average American shrinks every year. If you watch TV, movies, listen to music from yesteryear, it’s obvious why. No one is being done any great service by our artists trying to capitalize on the poor education of Americans. At any rate, there are better albums coming up, and I go into every review hoping for the best and trying to remain positive. I just haven’t been able to. Surry. I guess I’m a snob?

Image courtesy of www.myspace.com/syleenajohnson

“Labor Pains” sounds like a pretty contrived album title to me, but it’s not nearly as bad as “Beyonce is Sasha Fierce,” right? But then, I have no idea why people love Beyonce so much. Anyway, optimistically on to the album…

There’s a fair amount of funk in this album. That’s about as positive as this is going to get, unfortunately. There’s an amazing amount of plagiarism on this album. “Where’s the love” includes the same title as a Blackeyed Peas hit from a few years back, lyrics from The Lox’s “Money, Power, Respect,” and Syleena takes advantage of your radio’s favorite rapper’s tendency to use vocoder, becoming the first female I’ve heard of riding the current mega-trend.

Syleena remakes her father, Syl’s, “Is It Because I’m Black” which was sampled by RZA for The W. Her track is extremely similar, though slightly less funky, but it probably would’ve been the best track on the album had her father not done it with so much more grit and emotion. It kinda ruins it. Then, for no explicable reason whatsoever, she claims to want “diamonds and rings and things.” It’s strange to me that she would want to have a part in killing Africans, but then, it’s strange to me that she’s attempting to make music. Incidentally, she sampled her father’s “I’m Talking About Freedom” in her “Freedom,” which steals melody and lyrics from Nas’s “If I Ruled The World.”

Image courtesy of www.myspace.com/syleenajohnson

The track that indicates that this album isn’t an album at all and that it serves no purpose other than to make a lady some money, is “Be Me,” which basically tells her sob story about all the hard work she had to do to get from upper middle class to making relatively uninspired albums, despite that she must’ve had access to decent connections through her father. It’s not an inspirational tale. It’s melodramatic, there’s no lyrical wittiness, the music is mediocre, and her vocals are not impressive. Greed combined with dumbness and pandering hurts my heart.

In “You Let Me Down,” Syleena, Jr. does her best Mary J., which isn’t very good, “How many times have you told me you love me and how many times have you ran out on me and said I’m sorry,” followed by, “Aw, hell naw, can’t take no more.” *Yawn*

“Shoo Fly” is one of the most musically interesting tracks on the album, thanks to its minimalistic exotic sound. Lyrically, it’s all about how threatened her man’s ex makes her feel. I find that content to be lame, personally. I mean, that’s just my opinion or whatever, which is pretty meaningless or whatever. Don’t take it seriously. It’s all cool.

The most entertaining song on the album is “Maury Povich.” The beat is really corny, and the lyrics amount to hating on girls that have kids, basically. It’s entertaining in the same way the movie, “XXX” with Vin Diesel. It’s funny, but it’s not supposed to be. The whole thing is so horrible that you have to keep paying attention to it just because it constantly sinks to new, delicious lows. It’s a ridiculously contrived silly storyline and it’s hillarious. Incidentally, it wouldn’t be a bad idea if this song were passed out to sex education classes, to inform guys about some of the condom-hole-poking that does occur from time to time.

The lead single from the album is, “Is It True,” which includes 808s, synth horns, harp sounds, and cliche lyrics, for those whom might be into that sort of thing.

In “Your Love,” I recognize a disturbing tendency in popular musical lyrics that I’ve previously noticed first noticed in “Independent Women” by Destiny’s Child. Syleena’s song claims that “no one could offer all the fortune and fame… cause all I need is your love.” Essentially, by acknowledging that someone might accept money for sex, the lyrics in these songs validate this arrangement as a viable romantic relationship. The “Oh, I would never do that, just in case you were wondering” seems analogous to seeking clemency because you were honest.

In “My First,” Syleena combines a fairly interesting track, primarily thanks to the timbales, with nonsensical, immature, shallow, explicitly sexual lyrics, a la “Even though I’m not a virgin, you’re still my first.”

The last three non-interlude tracks compare sex to a workout, claim “Don’t go home, I really wanna stay home with you tonight,” and talk about neglecting your kids so that you can go to the disco, respectively.

While listening to Labor Pains is both laborious and painful, the title really bears no significance that I can find. This album is a cheap rip-off of lots and lots of things, but owes super-plagiarism-credit to Mary J. Blige’s particular body of work. Musically, lyrically, and vocally, this album under performs any expectation that a person could set for a musical album. The lyrics aren’t just bad, they’re boring immature, irrational, pandering thoughts that happen to rhyme with a complete absence of any literary device. Content-wise, there’s a common thread of the relationship between material things and love throughout this album. She seems fairly concerned with both, but she wants to make it very clear that she probably doesn’t usually expect to get the material thing from her man, it seems safe enough to assume.

Labor Pains is a collection of shallow self-centered sentiments being re-hashed through fairly average vocals and lyrics lacking poignancy or creativity to beats that are relatively unoriginal, albeit catchy. I give this album one star because I don’t absolutely completely hate every beat on here.